Happy New Month friends!! I can’t believe we have less than 60 days to the end of this year that has been… a lot!
Speaking of a lot, relationships have to be one of the ‘a lots’ for me.
One thing I have learned in my few (not so few) years of dating is that surviving the end of a relationship is not for the faint of heart. The worst part, however, is that being single comes with a lot of expectations – especially after you hit a certain age.
You’re either supposed to be on the lookout for your soulmate who may be around the corner or still crying from your last breakup – two extremes.
There are times I have been newly single and out of nowhere, someone will say or ask something that makes me wonder what their intention is.
To be honest, there are certain things we can agree that shouldn’t be said to anyone single, especially newly single.
What happened? You two seemed so perfect…
I get that, many times, people mean well and are just shocked by the end of a relationship. But if we broke up, we were clearly not perfect.
I have been single for a while. To date, I haven’t told certain people that I am, because I dread being asked this question.
You never know what a couple is like from the outside looking in. If a relationship ended, it did for a reason…that you most certainly have no idea about.
Let your friend make the call about sharing any details and focus on offering support in helping them move on.
You’re lucky; now you can do whatever you want
I have heard this a couple of times, and it just makes me wonder because technically I have always done whatever I want to do – with or without being in a relationship.
There is some truth though to this sentiment. When you are single, you are free to make plans without considering anyone else. You can set your schedule without thinking twice about anyone else’s calendar.
But when you tell this to your single friend, she may not feel lucky at all, especially if it wasn’t their choice to end the relationship. They might be devastated.
Even if you are worried that they could end up alone forever (which is highly unlikely), play it cool for a while. Being single is different for everyone.
Don’t worry, you’ll find someone
This is many times said as a form of reassurance.
But, this phrase (for me) implies that you need to be in a relationship to be whole and happy, which is not true.
Being “worried” about finding someone is a weird type of social pressure. Your newly single friend might be ready to find someone, or impatient to share their life with another person, but there’s no need to emphasize their potential anxiety over the journey.
But si your standards are high
One of my ‘friends’ thinks I am very picky, and might not find the person I am looking for.
But, in all honesty, it is okay to be picky. Of course, you might have really specific desires that may or may not be realistically met like those who say they can’t date anyone shorter than them, but who am I to say what you do or don’t need or want in a relationship? Do you boo.
When your single friend eventually finds a partner, celebrate with her. But for now, be in the moment.
See You Next Week!