I’m not sure about y’all, but I know I have been in a relationship that just about everyone knew was wrong for us except ourselves.
To be honest, it’s never easy getting out of such relationships. Despite it being a never-ending roller coaster you can’t seem to hop off of, you will. Trust me, you can – and will.
The first step of getting out of it is realizing that is it actually a bad relationship, and then deciding whether it is worth being saved.
Here are a few things I wish I could have told myself when I was in that bad relationship, that you may want to tell yourself too:
Being with the wrong person feels more lonely than being alone
I speak from personal experience when I say the number one reason you’re stillin that bad relationship is probably because of the L-word. No, not love — lonely. Maybe the scariest part about going through any breakup is acknowledging the fact that we’re no longer a part of something, we are now just alone.
I know it seems scary, and I know it sounds cliché for me to tell you that you are not alone. But when you’re sitting at a restaurant eating food you don’t like with a person who belittles you/bores you/annoys you, it will feel much more lonely than watching The Queen’s Gambit (new fave)alone at home.
If you doubt it, end it
I am guilty of watching and looking forward to new episodes of The Bachelorette – which in all honesty, tell you otherwise, but as soon as you realize this person is not the one for you, they’re not worth your time or love. To save you from a lot of hurt, the first major doubt or bad feeling in your gut should be the end, not the beginning of the end.
“No” is not a dirty word
It’s actually one of the most important words in a relationship’s vocabulary. Compromise and empathy are crucial, but so is respect for each other’s wants and needs. Communicating what you don’t want should be just as easy as saying yes. If it’s not, this person really doesn’t respect you or care about you as much as they say they do.
If it feels like you’ll never get over this for the rest of your life, you will. I promise
Going through a bad relationship and an even worse breakup may leave you wanting to wallow in your sadness because you just don’t know if you’ll get over it.
Soon, however, you’ll realize that it’s not the end of the universe. You’ll pick yourself up and it won’t really feel like you will never get over it anymore. As soon as you realize you willget over it, that’s when you do.
Replace your “ifs” and “thens”
When going through a breakup or staying in a bad relationship, we often give ourselves rules to affirm the behavior we know is hurting us. We say, “if I miss them, then I’ll call them,” or “if they say something nice to me today, then I’ll stay with them,” or the worst, “if I feel lonely, I’ll ask them to come over.” Notice the rules you’re giving yourself and change them by replacing your actions. Say, “if I miss them, then I’ll go for a run,” or “even if they say something nice to me today, it doesn’t cancel out the bad.”
How did you get out of bad relationships? Comment below 🙂
See You Soon!