A month ago, I packed everything I had and traveled to a new country – a country I’d never been to. I had waited for this moment for so long but as it inched closer, I became more and more nervous.
“Was this the right choice for me? Did I still want to do this? Would I manage it all?”
Before we go on, let’s take a pause and go back to where it all began.
Slightly over two years ago, I wanted to pursue my master’s degree and my parents encouraged me to apply to universities in different countries. Before I started my school application, however, I applied for a job at one of the popular media houses that I had always wanted to work in and was so close to getting a job…but God, in His own wisdom, chose to answer a prayer request I had made about clarity. To date, I have never heard from the media house (I took that as a sign 😂).
With clarity on that, I now decided to go after school applications. But there was one thing… I had the money to make the application, but we didn’t have the money for the rest 😅. This was the beginning of my journey of faith.
In January of 2020, I received an offer letter. This came with requirements that I had to fulfill. One of them was to have a certain amount of money that we didn’t have at that time.
We waited in faith because, in my mind, God would not have given me such clear clarity if he did not know what He was doing. Throughout that period, we would constantly pray for the Lord to provide. A few days after my birthday, literally about a month after my offer letter arrived, God provided 😭 .
Another requirement that I needed to fulfill was passing an English test with specific points. I was super nervous about this because tests just make me nervous. I remember doing this test a day after the first case of COVID had been announced in the country (Kenya) and a week later when the results came out, I had passed!
The Lord was really showing me that this was the path I should walk in.
But then COVID got worse and everything shut down, including where I had applied to go. This got me anxious.
You see, I am a planner and so I had a whole plan in my head about how things were to go. And so when everything was shut down and my salary reduced by half as a result of COVID, I was left helpless. For as long as I remember, every time I have felt helpless, I feel anxious, mad, or sad.
I remember identifying with David so many times when in Psalms 22 he says, “My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest…”
2020 was just a year and a half. Looking back, the Lord was teaching me some level of patience that I hadn’t developed.
One of the things I am super grateful for that happened in 2020 is a reconnection I had with one of my best friends. This relationship taught me so much and I tend to think this would not have happened had things gone according to my plan.
Then 2021 rolled in and I decided to simply go with the flow.
I got my visa grant, my pay at work was reinstated and I later got a pay rise, I started my social media management side-hustle, got featured in the newspaper and my relationships were all going well. I was just happy.
I remember thinking if whatever I had hoped for didn’t come, would I be happy? And truth be told, a huge part of me would still be happy. I had sort of made peace with the fact that it may or may not happen. And I was okay with that. I had surrendered it all.
Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you…Psalm 55:22a
If I had left in 2020, none of the things that happened in 2021 would have happened. And that gave me comfort. Knowing that even in my circumstances, God was still for me.
In December 2021, our hope became even stronger when the country opened its borders, with a few restrictions.
Coming into 2022, my parents were more hopeful than I was 😂.
COVID came, but God had bigger plans that I knew nothing about.
Even in the times I thought He had left me, He had gone before me and was with me.
The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you…Deut 31:8
Although I am still making adjustments, the word favor has been with me every step of the way.
If you are hoping for something that seems to be taking longer…if you feel like He is not hearing your cries…Keep going. It may not make sense now, but it will.
I’m here cheering you on, and I will be waiting for your praise report.