Dear Grandma…

My maternal grandmother was the best grandmother I could ever ask for. We had this kind of relationship that to date, I don’t know how to explain. The underlying factor is, that we loved each other. Ours was a love that was in its purest form. A love so strong and so deep.

At least every year my parents took my siblings and I to see her. She would practically baby us. Coming from town to shaggz, she knew just how much we loved fries. And even when the person in charge of making dinner for us did not want us to have fries, she would go out of her way to ensure we did. Not just in this aspect alone. I mean, she always went over and beyond to make sure we were comfortable. During those times I went there, I can’t remember being homesick, ever.

There was another time we travelled with her from shaggz to attend a certain wedding and she asked to hold my sweater to ensure I seat comfortably (It was my favorite sweater then). We got there, and well, she had left it in the car. Naturally, if it was someone else who had done that, I would ask them to replace it for me. But because it was my grandma, and she had a special place in my heart, I just let it go. It was a love that held no grudges.

When my parents told me she was sick, my heart sunk. In my heart of hearts, I knew we didn’t have her for too long. And every time I saw her after that, I felt I was literally seeing a flower lose its glow and dry up.

It has been about eight years since she passed away. Looking back, I don’t think I really got the closure I needed, especially because her death happened when I was in high school. In my school, a student was just not allowed to leave the compound to go for someone’s funeral unless it was an immediate family member.

Watching Tyler Henry’s program on E! just made me realize how much I miss her. It made me wonder, what would I tell her if I had just one more chance to be with her?

Dear Grandma,

Words cannot really express how much you are missed. There is so much I wish you could be here to be part of. Your death happened so fast, I only got to hear of it. I don’t even know if I was there for you like I should have been.

Well, here I am. All grown up now, and trying to make an impact in this world. I am done with school, hustling between jobs now, and about to get married. If only you could meet my boyfriend and tell me whether you think he is the right one for me. If only you were here to add to my support system and cheer me on even when I think I am failing.

Oh grandma, no one has even moved close to taking your place in my heart. You just had your way with me.

I feel like I have so much to tell you, but it is all jumbled up in my head. But please, continue watching over me, over us, who are left behind.

Love you always.