Firstborn

Firstborns are natural leaders. They frequently live with a sense of entitlement and even superiority. However, they often come in two ‘flavors’: Compliant nurturers/ caregivers or aggressive movers and shakers. As a rule, firstborns are picky, precise people. Their attention to detail and order explains why accountants are overwhelmingly firstborns – they love paying attention to small details. If you marry a first born, you’re going to marry someone who is likely to succeed vocationally, but you’re going to have some challenges in your relationship with them. Firstborns like to take charge. They are goal oriented, want complete control, and need to earn their keeps. They also have a strong desire to win. On the negative side, firstborns are often moody and occasionally lack sensitivity. They can be intimidating, particularly by pushing people too hard or refusing to take no for an answer. They tend to be bossy, flaw pickers, and conscientious to a fault.

There is something about being a first born, both positive and negative. In many cases, not only in the African culture (Wakanda baby), but also abroad, a lot is expected from a firstborn.

The most special thing about being a first born is the bond that exist between you and your mom. You made your mother a first time mom (I know it’s one of the best feelings ever. Ata mimi I am just waiting for the time to come).

I am a first born. As a child, I really did not know the role a first born had. I mean, I would do what I wanted to do and well, my siblings would copy me. Then I grew up and realized they were actually mimicking my actions because I was the person they looked up to.

I hated it. I won’t lie. See, I’ve always wanted to carve my own path. Be me and do me. I also never liked being copied. I wanted to stand out and do it alone.

I was for sure not the best of older sisters growing up. There were times I wished I was an only child, especially the times I would be punished and they would be spared because well, they were young and simply did not know what they were doing.

When it came to discipline, I served as an example. I was never spared, and my dad would always say, “Behave like a child and I will treat you like one, no matter how old you are.” You can now imagine how much caning I got and until what age.

Looking back, I just smile.

My siblings and I have grown so close over the few years, and especially now that the three of us are all away from home, and in different parts of the country. I even felt emotional my sister was going to campus for the first time in a new place. I wasn’t there to see her off, but the thought of her far away from us, and on her own just made me emotional.

I have come to embrace the first born title. Like, it has gotten to a point where I can actually reason with my parents concerning the decisions they want to make for our home and my siblings. I feel so old. I am that person my siblings know they can rely on and at least every week I take time from my busy schedule to talk to them.

It has been a work in progress, from not wanting to be a first born to accepting and finally taking it up.

There are people always looking at a distance just to.. well, see how much of a first born you are.

I am however the best version of myself, and very comfortable being one. I even look younger than my siblings J