As an introvert, sometimes you may be fooled to believe that I don’t have friends because well, I love being alone.

I’m just here to let you know that I do have friends. The circle is small, but I have been very intentional in choosing my friends because, for me, they are the people I do life with.

For me, last year more than ever is when most of my friendships were solidified. With lockdown and not going out as much, we had to be intentional in making our friendship work.

Looking back, there are certain things we did before lockdown that actually helped our friendship work and that can help you be intentional in your friendship as well:

Find your spaces

I found my space in the church. I decided to volunteer and get to know other people. Before I volunteered, I would get to church late and as soon as the service was over, I would leave.

Your space may not necessarily be in church, but it could be at events and other places. Whatever space you find, make it your own and try and form friendships.

I formed a bond that has been the best thing for me. 

Touch Base 

With most places currently closed (on this side), touching base requires communication.

So if you want to be intentional in your friendships, send your friends a text, a photo, a voice note or simply call.

It does not have to be every day, but try and do it as often as possible because these little actions are what build up the foundation of your friendship and can cut the distance that comes from not seeing each other regularly.

Be Real and Vulnerable

I am generally a closed book and find it very hard to talk about myself. But intentionality in friendships requires trust and building trust requires you to open up – even just a little. 

Sometimes, you don’t know how God is going to use your situation to minister to someone else. It just may be that either you have advice for them, or they have advice for you.

Find your tribe and make an intention to be as honest, open, and transparent with them. That’s what intentional friendship looks like.

Celebrate Together

One of my friends and I are literally in the same situation, a little differently. This, I believe, has played a huge role in bringing us closer to each other over the past year especially. 

We have gotten to laugh together, be happy for each other and even encourage each other. 

You may not be going through the same motions, but choosing to celebrate each other makes all the difference. There’s no room for jealousy. 

Pray for Them

It is very easy to say that you will pray for someone. How many times have you said that and ended up not praying? 

What if you took the time to either pray with them when you are together or make it a daily habit to pray for them as you say your prayers?

It may be difficult to remember at first, especially if you don’t do it, but the more you do it, the more you’ll remember.

 I’ve seen how praying for people helps you to stay mindful of their needs. Where you follow up on how they are and if the prayer was answered. Like, going to God about somebody else is so powerfully Christ-like.

Jackie Hill Perry

What have you done to make sure your friendship is not lost?