Let’s face it. So many people talk about how hard relationships and marriages are. But to be honest, there’s nothing easy, or is there?

While every relationship is different, no relationship is perfect.

Whether you’ve been dating for days, weeks, months, or even years, relationships are created from commitment and are continued due to a lot of respect and effort.

So what’s the effort? You ask.

By doing these nine things to improve your relationship, you will not only have a quality relationship with your significant other, but you will also prove that you are determined to work for that relationship.

Designate a monthly date (day/night)

A guy I was dating a while back introduced me to a new concept I had never heard of – date nights. My 21-year-old self loved the idea even though I didn’t know where I would get the money to go on weekly date nights 😅. Although we never made it to any date night, it’s a concept I loved.

With busy schedules and nonstop responsibilities, it can be really hard to make time for each other besides the good morning or goodnight texts. Being intentional in setting a date every month dedicated to just spending time is the best way to counter this. Your relationship might be good, but trust me, the happiness that you get out of the few hours you are on that date will be something you will remember for long.

Be thankful

I love cooking. And to be honest, it can feel like a chore when the person you are cooking for does not appreciate the effort you put, which can lead to resentment.

A relationship comes with comfort and sometimes, you may overlook what your partner is doing, and instead of treating it as an act of kindness, you view it as an expectation. Whatever your partner does, acknowledging their effort will constantly remind you of how thoughtful they are. 

Change your schedule

I struggled a lot with my schedule and how that fit into man’s schedule. There was always that aspect of being independent and not wanting to stop doing anything for anyone (and you shouldn’t stop). I eventually got a hang of it.

Even though you have other commitments outside of your relationship, it’s a kind gesture to compare both of your schedules and see if it’s possible to spend more time together, while still chasing after what you want.

Maybe you can wake up a little early to get your work done so that you can make time to watch a movie with your partner later. While you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your life to make your partner happy, your ability to compromise will make all the difference.

Pay attention to the little things

Another way to add meaning to your conversation is to truly listen to what your person is saying — and talk about it in the future. If your partner mentions a conversation or something that they want to do, take note of it and be supportive of that. In the end, it’s the little things that matter.

Let go of the past

One thing that I have become more aware of is that I am such a culprit of not really letting go of the past. I realized this after many potential arguments that could have been avoided. And the truth is, it’s very difficult to move forward in a relationship when you are thinking about what happened a while back.

If you find yourself dwelling on the past, take a step back and consider why. Are you naturally less forgiving or is the thing that happened something you simply can’t forgive?

This way, you’ll find more clarity on what you want from the relationship with your person. 

Source: Pexels/Valentin Antonucci

Show your love

There are various love languages and how you choose to show your love is really up to you.

As you appreciate your partner, show them that you love and cherish them. It could be something as simple as being in the kitchen with them as they cook or holding their hand while taking a walk.

Whatever you feel for your partner, show them. 

Learn their boundaries

When your partner is upset, do they want to be left alone? When you are apart, do they mind that you want to text throughout the day?

You may want to be there for your partner, but sometimes they have boundaries that need to be respected. 

Know when to apologize

In every relationship, there will be conflict. How you deal with it is what matters at the end of the day.

Not every argument is a challenge that needs to be won by either party. This, however, does not mean that you should take the blame for everything, but decide what battles are worth fighting.

There may be glory in knowing you are right, but there’s maturity in apologizing during an argument that is not as important as the person you are arguing with. 

Make time to focus on yourself

How you feel about yourself automatically affects how you will act in a relationship. To prevent any toxic behavior from happening in your relationship, it’s important to be self-aware. Take up new hobbies, spend time with your friends, and in the process, discover who you are outside of the relationship. This way, who you present in a relationship will be your best version.