I was looking back at some of the things that I have come to live by and that have pushed me and led to my growth this year, and to be honest, if I knew these things a while back, I’m sure I would not be where I am. Not physically of course (or maybe), but regarding the many things, I feel I keep on doing – things that end up not putting me in a good place.
I also asked you guys on social media what truths you would tell your younger selves.
Something I (do not) swear by is that “When you know better, you do better.”
I’m sorry this post is a little longer than my normal posts, but it gave me so much joy to share some of my lessons and incorporate some of yours as well. So here we go…
You have to be your own top priority
To be honest, I struggle with this – to date. Just the other day, someone who I had decided not to let into my life again to avoid worry and emotions, came back. I look back and seriously think this was a test that I, hands down failed. I made them a priority over me and I am beating myself up about that.
This is a lesson that I am trying to have ingrained in my whole being. See, every time I have made myself my own priority, I have enjoyed a time of so much energy, less worry and positivity around me. When you make yourself your own priority, your life becomes better.
There is usually so much hype around trying out so much and ‘having fun’. I look at the past years and literally picture myself in a way like Jonah in the Bible. I may not really have been called to go preach the word in Nineveh, but I was running… running from a relationship with God.
Now, growing deeper in God, I realize just how much fun there is in knowing God. Also, there is a way you are guided, and your burdens lifted. He is literally a Father.
To get anywhere, you have to get comfortable with saying no
Today when I tell people I was a ’yes’ person, many of them find it hard to believe. The truth is, I have always been a ‘yes’ person. It’s just a few years back when I decided enough was enough and I decided to be me and not be a follower of everything.
There is so much liberation that comes with knowing what you want and going for it, and not just following everyone else. Once you get comfortable with saying ‘no’, you’ll realize just how much time and energy you have to pursue your passions.
It’s never too early to save
My parents cultivated a culture of saving in each of us, and it’s something I appreciate to date. They would save a certain amount of money for us each week, and we only got to be custodians of that money when we turned 18 and opened a bank account.
Even now, before I spend money on anything, I have to ask myself whether I really need it. Of course, there are financial mistakes I have made (like buying a wig I rarely use), but the truth is, your savings will come in handy. You can start with very little – it will grow.
Don’t let anyone else’s perception influence your choices
Have I ever told you guys about my first boyfriend? (No offense because he sometimes reads my posts), but the guy manipulated me into doing so much that I didn’t want to do. Whenever I hesitated when he asked me to do something, he would be like, “You don’t want to do this because you’re XYZ…” and then I would end up doing whatever just to prove him wrong. I was a fool wueh!
The truth is people who fill their lives up with stuff they think they ‘should’ do rarely feel fulfilled. Spending time chasing the approval of others will not just drain your energy but will keep you from uncovering the best parts of yourself. You only need to please and receive approval from yourself.
Doubts hold you back; affirmations propel you forward
I have spent so much time questioning whether I’m good enough, saying the right thing or even doing the right thing. I realized that I constantly had to speak positively to myself, to get many of my projects off the ground. And that’s why I came up with the phrase and eventually my podcast title, “This Is It.”
Every time you feel doubt creeping in, shut it down with words of affirmation. If you don’t do or say what you want to, when will you? The time is now.
Curiosity is the key to never being bored (or obsolete)
When I was young, I would constantly tell my dad how bored I was. His response was always the same, “What is being bored? You can never be bored.” I didn’t understand this, until a few years back. I was just not so curious about the resources I had.
Now, books have opened a whole other world for me that is constantly making me curious.
Expose yourself to new concepts and practices – even from areas you have been exploring for years. There is always more to learn. In all you endeavor to do, let go of perfectionism and be willing to fail. It will reveal so many possibilities.
- Many things will not go as planned, but it always works out in the end.
- Enjoy every bit of life.
- You only live once.
- If things don’t work out, you won’t die. Just breathe.
- Love yourself more baby girl. Love your body. That’s what makes your soul happy, do that. Period!!
- Don’t worry too much. Enjoy every season and moment.
- One day you’ll miss the people you were close too in the past. So (if you can), keep them really close!
- Fear is a liar.
- God is in control, hustle hard, and don’t be angry at life.
- It never hurts to try
In it all, remember that your job here is simple: to create the life of your dreams.
Until next time, all my love