Breakups are difficult.
It’s much more difficult when you can’t pinpoint one specific reason why the relationship failed.
You’ve undoubtedly been in a relationship when there were no obvious warning signs, but it didn’t feel right. This isn’t to say you should flee at the first sign of trouble.
Even though you are not necessarily in conflict, you should be mindful of what does not seem right.
Is your current relationship a good fit for you?
Here are signs that a relationship may not be right for you, even without any red flags, disagreements, or problems.
Spending time with other people is more appealing to you
Every time we were about to meet up or spend time together, I had a strong sense of dread that I mistook for joy and anticipation. It was terrifying. And, to be honest, whenever we were together, we were either on our phones or doing something else, rather than spending time together. We were both disinterested, but we kept on forcing the relationship.
Are you finding it increasingly difficult to spend quality time with your partner?
It is not a sign of a healthy relationship if you prefer to spend time with your friends or dread spending time with your significant other.
You shouldn’t always feel like spending time with others over your relationship.
After spending time together, you’re exhausted
Recognizing how you feel after spending time with your partner might help you assess the quality of your relationship.
Do you feel empowered and uplifted afterward, or depleted and relieved? If the latter is the case, attempt to figure out what about your time together is making you feel that way.
Even in the healthiest relationships, not every day will be smooth sailing, but with effective communication, you should feel generally happy at the end of your time together (yes, even after a disagreement).
When you’re apart from them, you don’t miss them
Three of my favorite things are independence, self-care, and self-love. Again, we all need limits, and spending time apart is necessary, but if you spend a lot of time away from your partner and don’t miss them at all, it may be a clue that this relationship isn’t appropriate for you.
Are they reaching out to you more than you are or telling you how much they miss you, but you don’t share their feelings?
Knowing how they’re feeling can assist you to figure out whether or not the feelings are reciprocated.
All of a sudden, everything irritates you
Suddenly, the trail of water your partner leaves on the floor after a shower frustrates you to no end, you dislike the way they chew their food, and the morning music on their phone alarm makes you want to scream.
While you may never love everything about someone, you also can’t have a good relationship with someone who irritates you all the time. If you want to improve your relationship, talk about the issues that are bothering you (nicely and lovingly). However, if it’s a feeling you can’t shake rather than a phase or condition, remember that it’s not you; it could be that the connection isn’t right.
They aren’t the first people you think of when you have good news to share
Other essential relationships in your life are just as vital, and wanting to tell your parents or closest friend about a job promotion or exciting rise is a wonderful thing. However, if you find yourself discussing your victories with others rather than your significant other because you’re afraid they won’t be happy for you or won’t give you the thrilling response you’re seeking, it could be a red flag you’re missing.
You should have no doubt that your significant other will want to join you in celebrating your victories and is your biggest supporter.
You feel like they are getting in the way of the life you want
You have the impression that they are impeding your ability to live the life you desire.
“I wish I could do this alongside you, but this is your journey…not mine,” someone once told me. (Yes, I don’t come here with awful experiences from my relationships every day 😂.) This was about me living out one of my dreams. Despite how difficult this was, I felt supported up.
Do you despise your partner or believe that being with them prevents you from achieving your goals?
You may love them and want to be with them, but it feels like you have to choose between them and other things you want in life, such as a good career, living in the city of your dreams, or having a vibrant social life. This can be challenging because all relationships require compromise, but if you want your relationship to endure, you must do so.
Instead of feeling like they’re holding you back, you need to feel like you’re working together to create the life you both want.
You don’t want to argue because you don’t care
We are aware of the warning signals that indicate a toxic relationship, such as continual disagreements over major life decisions. It can also be a red flag if you don’t have any disagreements at all.
Are you, for example, too exhausted to express any worries or conflicts with your partner? Or do you simply not care enough to express your dissatisfaction with something? Perhaps you believe it is better to keep these things unsaid, yet failing to disagree shows that you have no desire to mend or work on the relationship. When you lose interest in communication, you’re likely to lose interest in the relationship as well.
Is your current relationship a good fit for you?