“…I need a break…” partly read the text I sent him. I had been getting mad at him over the same thing continuously, and I felt I just needed a break. He later said how confused he felt after reading that text, and being a person who doesn’t believe in taking breaks, he didn’t know what to expect after the break.
If there is one thing romantic relationships have taught me: the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever. When the newness and excitement of a relationship wear off, your eyes open up 😂.
Have you ever found yourself wanting to take a break from your relationship? Sometimes, the key to a healthy relationship is not to take a break but intentionally do things to keep the spark alive. However, sometimes, a break is necessary, mainly because it allows each of you to take time and space to gain clarity on what you want out of each other and the relationship.
If you are wondering whether taking a break is the right step, here are the signs indicating you need one.
You are getting more annoyed than usual
Truth is, your partner will annoy you at some point. However, if you find yourself getting annoyed more than you used to at things that didn’t annoy you before, it’s time to think about why your patience is gone.
I have found that every time I am holding feelings of resentment or my feelings have not been met, I let the little things bother me. If you are there, take a step back and consider why you are feeling the way you are and whether you can move past it. If not, communicate with your partner about your feelings and what needs to be done, whether taking a break or working it out differently.
Your conversations are dull
Do you remember how you and your partner would talk for hours when you first met? Then you stopped playing the question game and started talking about things like your schedules and the bills that need to be paid, and after a while, you ran out of things to talk about.
Talking to your partner used to be the highlight of your day, but now it feels like too much effort. What happened? If the spark you had no longer exists, a break might be the next step needed to either re-ignite the relationship or accept that it will not stand the test of time.
You feel more relaxed when they’re not around
Do you feel tense and uneasy when you are with your partner? Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells? This is your sign to take that break, sis (or bruh).
If you no longer enjoy your partner’s company or feel like you are constantly on edge when you are around them, you won’t want to spend time with them. This is not a way to maintain a relationship with someone you care about.
Your future together is uncertain
No one knows what the future holds. That said, however, I think it is essential that you and your partner are on the same page about your hopes for the future of your relationship.
I remember asking someone whether they felt ready for marriage before they got married. I was referring to whether they had discussed their plans, hopes and dreams for the future. Well, at that time, the answer was yes. After their divorce, she mentioned that they (her partner and herself) realized they were on different pages regarding numerous things – where they wanted to stay, how many children they would have if they wanted any children, how they would raise their kids, and so much.
Nobody wants their time or somebody else’s time wasted. So, if you feel that your future together is uncertain, taking a break in the relationship will allow both of you to explore what you want and how you want to move forward – whether together or separately.
This is very insightful. I have been in a relationship where we’d take breaks every often, to cool off, but my naive self always felt I was being inconvenienced.
Now that I’ve ‘grown up’, I would 100% recommend taking breaks to reconnect with yourself, and most importantly, breath.
Yes. Sometimes it’s good to breath. But if you find yourself wanting too many breaks, you might need to evaluate why.