I came across something on my Insta the other day. It is an event that was happening, FuckUp Night. Yes, you read that correctly. Now, this is a movement that celebrates stories of failure, to inspire others to pick up pieces. I mean, if you have failed and survived, anyone else can.
I met this kind soul when I first started my line of work, a few months ago. As we got to interact, our bond grew stronger. She is more than a colleague to me, and even more than a friend.
When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that has changed them.
All I remember is she had a long gaze, and before long, words started popping out of her mouth. It is what she calls the story of her life.
“They say love is blind. I thought I had found the Mr. Right. At the time, I didn’t know it, but I was wrong. I mean, I was just a young girl in love. It was during the music festivals in Meru, that I met this tall, dark and handsome man. All the qualities any lady would want at face value. I would term it as love at first sight because we soon started dating. Two years later, there was a baby on the way.
Living with your parents, studying and suddenly falling pregnant is a difficult situation to be in. So what did I do? Like many other people in my situation, I hid my pregnancy for seven good months. All this while, I was planning how I would move out and move in with my boyfriend.
When I finally moved out, life was hard. From having everything provided for me by my parents, my boyfriend and I now had to fend for the basic needs. There are days when we went to friends for the basic needs. Well, finally, my boyfriend got a job. Life was finally looking up. Though not much, it was better than nothing.
The thing about friends disappearing when one falls pregnant, especially out of wedlock, is true. I literally had no one. There were times I considered having an abortion or even committing suicide. In all these though, God was always by my side.
After my pregnancy, my relationship with my parents, especially, my mother, was not the best. It took a turn for the worse. However, after struggling to make ends meet with my boyfriend, I decided it was better for me to go back home. Surprisingly, the reception was good.
On the 5th of September 2013, my baby girl Janice Bijoux Mwaniga Mudenyo was born. This is after almost two days of induction. The joy that filled my heart to date, is something I cannot define.
So we soon moved back to my boyfriend’s place, a family of three now. Cracks began to appear when he took me to his parents and I was treated like an ‘outcast,’ something he ignored. Before long, I was not getting any support from him either and that is when I decided enough was enough.
Life has not been a bed of roses, just as they say about marriage. My parents have however played a very important role in raising my little girl who recently just turned five. My partner too has played a big role in parenting her.
Today, I look back, and despite the fact that I had my baby at a young age, being a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It is about learning about strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with fears I didn’t know existed.
With all life’s ups and downs, I am grateful to God for my little girl. My perfect imperfection. My Bijoux.”
Want to share your story too? Talk to me.🙂