Today’s post is a difficult one for me because honestly, I do not know where to start.
Last week, I had posted an Instastory on Psalm 23:1-2.
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
And then I got this:
I loved the idea but wasn’t so sure about when I wanted to do it, or if I wanted to do it. I thought of doing a podcast on this, (which by the way if you haven’t listened to my podcasts, click here) but that’s a story for another day.
I have gone back and forth on this one because I don’t feel like I’m there yet. Do people ever get there though?
But hey, it’ll probably help someone out there. Just so you know, mine is not one of those Saul to Paul stories – no, seriously.
I have grown up – born and brought up in a Christian family. For as long as I can remember, we prayed together because hey, a family that prays together…? Exactly. We trusted God to do what we deemed impossible together and we thanked Him for all He did. I vividly remember praying for the house that is now our family home and yes, He came through.
I was about 7 when I thought I should give my life to Christ. And so I did, during a VBS we had in church (it’s those Bible school for kids during holidays). I think I gave my life to Christ over and over again for a while after that.
Fast forward to a few years later as a teenager, when I felt like I was living a double life. I was serving in the church and felt like I wasn’t giving it my all. Most of my relationships were not glorifying God, I was struggling to pray and read the Bible, and yet I would sing to Him every Sunday. That, at the time, to me, felt like a chore.
I took a few steps back, re-evaluated myself, and felt like I should start all over. You know the verse about grace:
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-Ephesians 2:8
Then I lost my way…again. This time, for a few years. All I did was pray when I woke up, and pray when I went to bed. I wasn’t really connecting or even seeking to connect with Him.
Then my parents introduced this thing where during our devotions, we would say what verse we had read and explain what it meant for us. This was a challenge for me because I still wasn’t willing to read my Bible.
There’s this thing about raising your children in the word so that when they are old they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). Most of the verses that I shared during this time were ones I remembered from my childhood.
Then I moved to a different town for work.
And I realized that I was on my own. I had to do the work for myself. I had to want to be in a relationship with Him.
No, I was nowhere near perfect, but I had to start somewhere.
I had fallen so many times, but not once, did His love for me decrease. Not once, did He depart from me. Not once, did He fail to embrace me when I came back.
And that led to this.
Now, after this, I came out ready to make sure I stand strong and resist the devil. Ha! I found this very difficult.
Through his strength and power, however, we overcome.
I like comparing my faith journey to working out. It’s a constant decision you have to make to do what is right, even when you want to go the other way. Because in the end, just like working out when your body is well toned, your life in Christ will be worth it!
I am not perfect in any way. I don’t know if anyone ever gets there. But His grace is and remains sufficient.
See You Next Week!