I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.
Trust is one of the hardest things to do. Trusting someone you cannot see, is even harder.
About a year plus ago, C (refer to previous posts to find out who I’m talking about) was to travel to a different city. That was when we were living in different towns. Naturally, I escorted him to the boarding stage, and because it was getting dark, I left him there. Later, he texts me and tells me he doesn’t have fare (nakwambia tumetoka mbali). My first instinct was to look for cash. We were so broke that even getting half the fare was a problem. All this time, C is seated at the boarding stage still waiting. It was a long night. Well, eventually, we got cash and he was able to travel. Getting to the city, because we didn’t have enough cash, he couldn’t take an Uber. And because he had travelled late, he ended up getting home at weird hours. He got home safe and sound though.
You see, before that, we had attended a church service where the minister spoke about trust. He mentioned how many times we expect God to perform a miracle, but we do not trust Him enough to sort of start the process.
You may be looking for a job, but what are you doing about it? Are you enhancing your skills? You may be looking for a husband material, but are you working on yourself too? C, didn’t have fare and the sermon that morning only made sense after he reminded me about it. He had to wait at the boarding stage, other than going to bed and waiting for cash to come in.
Many times I have questioned whether my faith is big enough for God to see. There are times I have talked to God and waited for an answer. But, nothing.
I believe if you keep your faith, you keep your trust, you keep the right attitude, if you’re grateful, you’ll see God open up new doors.
I have seen God come through for me in situations I didn’t think He would. There are those tulittle prayers you make, and are not even sure if God has heard you, but I can say for sure, trust in Him has made me look at my prayers with hope.
Looking back, I have seen the faithfulness of the Lord, even in my faithless state.
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.